The Definitive Star Trek XI

Let's face it, cricket attracts geeks. The stats, the subtleties of the laws, the endless tactical changes, the rich history - they can all be pored over and debated endlessly. It can attract a particular kind of fandom. Much like a well known sci-fi institution.

Both evoke images of fair play, decency and utopian "this is how life should be" ideals. I'm not sure there have been many cricket/Star Trek crossovers in the past (although there was a particular episode of Deep Space Nine that saw the crew playing a team of Vulcans at a game of baseball, which is about as close as it got) so I thought I'd give it a go by choosing my all time Star Trek XI.

1. Kirk Edwards (West Indies)

 

Kirk Edwards has played 17 tests, 16 ODIs and 19 T20 internationals for the West Indies. He showed early promise in the early 2000s by vice captaining the West Indies under 19s, but waited for 5 years after his first class debut to score his maiden first class century in 2009. He came to prominence in 2010 when he scored an unbeaten 171 for the West Indies A side against the England Lions and was elevated to the full squad as a replacement for Adrian Barath at the 2011 World Cup. He made his Test debut versus India the following year and his second innings hundred on his debut raised hopes of a new force in the West Indies middle order. Alas, this never quite materialised for him and was dropped from the Test and one day squads in 2014. Now 31, perhaps his best days are behind him, especially considering the current state of Caribbean cricket. He had a brief stint as Vice Captain of the West Indies One-day squad, but never made the top job, robbing me of being able to introduce him as Captain Kirk Edwards. You can't have it all I guess.

2. Barney McCoy (Australia)



Barney played 2 First Class matches for New South Wales between 1920-24. He was a leg spin bowler and right handed batsman, taking just 2 wickets in his FC career and with a highest score of 21. Barney passed away in 1970 aged 74, nearly a year after the final episode of the original Star Trek series aired. Whether in his latter years Barney was ever referred to as 'Bones' we'll never know, but it's certainly an opportunity missed if he wasn't.

3. Datta Gaekwad (India)

 

Yes, I know the spelling is slightly wrong but Data doesn't seem to mind does he?
Datta played 11 Tests for India between 1952 and 1959.  His first Test innings in 1952 at Headingley is notable as India were reduced to 0-4 with Fred Trueman taking all 4 wickets, Datta being his 4th victim. He captained India on the 1959 tour of England in the absence of the usual captain Hemu Adhikari. He lead the team to a 5-0 defeat in a series that was dogged by infighting, reportedly due to divisions between those players from Bombay and those, such as Datta, from Baroda. He did not play another Test following the disastrous series and finished his career with just 1 Test fifty. Come on Data, it's rude to laugh..

4. Steriker Hare (England)



Steriker Hare would be a but a footnote in the annals of Essex County Cricket Club were it not for 1 notable performance in a match against Derbyshire in 1921. Steriker made just 3 First Class appearances for Essex as a right-handed batsman. His highest score was 98 which he made in a stand of 251 with Johnny Douglas for the 9th wicket on his first class debut. Despite missing out on the ton, this partnership remains, for the 9th wicket, the highest of all time for Essex, the 2nd highest in English First Class cricket and the 4th highest in world First Class cricket.
Steriker quit cricket soon after this to become an accountant, working in Baghdad, Iraq from 1928 until 1959.

5. Michael Klinger (Australia)



The name is so close I couldn't possibly leave him out. He's certainly got the forehead for it anyway.
Australian Michael Klinger has been around for quite a while now and has had a prolific last few seasons as the Gloucestershire captain. He began his First Class career playing for Victoria in the 1998-99 season. Bizarrely Michael has the honour of being the only player in Australian cricket to be stranded on 99 not out after a declaration. This occurred in 2000 when the Victoria captain Paul Reiffel decided to call the players in, causing great upset to Michael, eventually leading him to leave Victoria the following season.
Michael Klinger has also competed in the Jewish Maccabiah Games (often referred to as the 'Jewish Olympics') in 1997 playing cricket for Australia and winning a silver medal. These games were unfortunately remembered for 4 other Australian competitors being killed just prior to the opening ceremony in Tel Aviv, when a bridge they were walking over to reach the stadium for the athletes parade collapsed.
Apart from at the Maccabiah games, Michael never represented Australia at Test or One-day level, but is another who is having a relative renaissance period late in his career. Another prolific season for Gloucestershire in 2016 and who knows? We could see him following Chris Rogers and Adam Voges footsteps into the Aussie Dad's Army.

6. Alex Wharf (England)



Worf has been in more episodes of Star Trek than anybody else. He was a main character in 2 series and has been in 4 films. In short, trekkies couldn't get enough of him and there's even a Twitter campaign going on right now called #wewantworf which is a crowdfunding campaign to start a new Star Trek series based around everyone's favourite Klingon.
Alex Wharf has never been as much as a fans favourite in the world of cricket, but like Worf he also won't go away. Alex played for 3 counties in the 1990's and early 2000's and was a decent allrounder, most notably for Glamorgan from 2000 until his retirement in 2009. Before researching him I knew he had made an appearance for England but I was slightly surprised to find that he played as many as 13 ODIs. He actually did pretty well, taking 18 wickets at an average of 24. I remember him being in a line of slightly frustrating "bits and pieces" players that England tended to throw in to one-day squads at the turn of century, along with the likes of other steady-eddies such as Mark Alleyne, Ian Austin and Matthew Fleming.
At the end of his professional playing days, Alex qualified as an umpire and was added to the ECB's First Class Umpires list in 2014. He is now regularly seen on the First Class circuit with a burgeoning reputation.

7.Francis Romulus Burchell (Great Britain)



Yes that's right, I've written Great Britain rather than England. Francis Romulus Burchell was a member of the 1900 Great Britain Olympic cricket team when they beat France in Paris to win the gold medal. This is the only time that cricket has ever been an Olympic sport and reading about the history of it, it's not difficult to see why. Originally, 4 teams were scheduled to play - Great Britain, France, Netherlands and Belgium. The Netherlands and Belgium pulled out before the tournament, leaving GB and France to battle it out for the gold. Neither team were selected by the national bodies. Great Britain were represented by the Devon and Somerset Wanderers club team (of which Francis was a member) and France by mostly British Ex-pats who happened to live in Paris.
Francis's contribution to the win was minimal - he was 0 not out in the first innings and didn't bat in the second. He didn't bowl a ball and didn't take a catch.

8. Andrew Ducat (England)



Andrew Ducat is a distinguished fellow (unlike his decidedly dodgy namesake above - Gul Dukat of Deep Space Nine). There are quite a few cricketers over the years who have played both high level cricket and football, but Andy is one of a small group of individuals who have represented their country at both. He played 429 First Class matches for Surrey between 1906-1931 with an impressive average of 38. He was even named as one of Wisden's cricketers of the year in 1929. His one and only Test appearance coming the following year against Australia at Headingley.
Whilst playing cricket in the summer, his winters were spent on the football field, spending time with First Division teams Arsenal, Fulham and Aston Villa, the latter being the most successful club in England at the time. He was awarded the first of his 6 England caps in 1910 scoring 1 goal in a 1-0 win against Wales. Upon retiring from football in 1924, he turned his hand to management, spending a rather unsuccessful 2 years at second division Fulham.
Andrew is also the holder of 2 'firsts' in English cricket, both of which I'm sure he would gladly relinquish given the chance:
He is reportedly the first batsman in English cricket to be out in 2 different ways with 1 ball - his bat breaking when edging a ball to slip with the resulting shards hitting the stumps (he was given out caught rather than hit wicket officially.
He is also, unfortunately, the only player ever to pass away on the Lord's pitch, suffering a fatal heart after the lunch break in a wartime Home Guard match in 1942 aged just 56.

9. Iain O'Brien (New Zealand)



Like Worf earlier, Chief O'Brien has also appeared in 2 series of Star Trek. And like Alex Wharf, left arm seam bowler Iain O'Brien has also progressed onto a second very distinguished career within cricket, as well as various other projects. Iain played 22 Tests and 10 ODI's for New Zealand, but he was in and out of the team for much of his international career. He has was a loyal servant for Wellington in NZ, as well as serving as overseas pro for both Leicestershire and Middlesex in England towards the end of his career. He quit international cricket in 2009 in order to spend more time with his family in England. Unfortunately his latter years were plagued by various injuries, leading to his retirement in 2012.
Throughout his playing career however writing has been an integral part of life for Iain. He maintained a detailed blog both independently and latterly for ESPN's cricinfo website, providing honest commentary on life as a professional sportsman. He has no held back on details on his personal struggles with dressing room anxiety and depression. His candour is often at odds with the rather sterile nature of interactions between press and professional sportspeople, and his writing is always a refreshing read. He now resides in Derbyshire and is often heard on BBC radio commentating on Derbyshire games, a role I'm sure we'll hear more and more of him in.
Retirement has not meant slowing down for Iain. His writing talents have lead to him co-authoring a children's book entitled Pirates Don't Play Cricket. He has also launched a range of T-shirts called Tranquillo Tees (bespoke T-shirts) and a sports underwear range called 010Gear (use you imagination as to what the 010 bit means).
Iain is one of my favourite cricketing personalities, and I will often seek out his writing and commentating. He epitomises what cricket should be - honest and human. He also once retweeted an appeal I sent to him on behalf of the cricket club I play for when we were struggling for players, which I'll always be grateful for.

10. Jahingar KHAAAAAAN! (India)



Khan Noonien Singh was the genetically enhanced super-villain who attempted to rise up against the human race in the Eugenics Wars. He had a long running spat with Kirk after the good captain put him into exile for being an all round bad egg.
Now there are numerous Khan's that have appeared in First Class and International cricket, and finding one on an equal footing with the physical and mental superiority of their Star Trek namesake proved difficult, but Jahingar here may just fit the bill.
Lahore-born Jahingar was stocky 6-foot all rounder who played for India in its very first Test Match in 1932 whilst it was still under British rule. He later went on to become a cricket administrator and selector for Pakistan following its independence. He is perhaps most famous for an incident that occurred when playing for India against the MCC in 1936, when he managed to hit and kill an airborne sparrow that was happening to fly over the pitch when he was bowling a ball. The deceased sparrow was stuffed and mounted on the match ball (bizarrely) and is still famously on show at the Lord's museum. Yep, that was Jahingar's work.
He is also part of a cricketing genealogy that is only the second to produce 3 International cricketers in 3 generations of the same family (The other being the Headley family from the West Indies). Jahingar's son Majid captained Pakistan in the 60's and 70's, and his grandson Bazid made his Pakistand debut in 2005.
So, freakish ability to pick out tiny moving objects; superior cricketing genes. We had better watch out for young Bazid Khan...


11. Rangana Herath (Sri Lanka)



Surprisingly to most I would imagine, the portly, seemingly rather innocuous Sri Lankan finger spinner Rangana Herath is at number 18 in the table for the best Test bowling figures of all time. His 9-127 in the 1st innings against Pakistan at Colombo in 2014 (Mahela Jayawardene's final test) was enough to secure his place in cricketing history in a match which saw him take 14 in total. Strangely Rangana seems to have the Pakistani batsmen on a bit of a string, taking a striking 88 Test wickets against them over the past 12 years. It wasn't even on a particularly turning pitch, with Saeed Ajmal (pre-ban for a his suspect action) only taking 4 in the match. It was just one of those freakish performances. Amongst the 17 on the all-time list who have also taken 9 or more in an innings, none have taken a higher percentage of their wickets with catches than Rangana did, as 7 out of his 9 wickets were caught around the bat. 7 of 9 wickets. Did someone mention Seven of Nine?

It's a tenuous link I know, but I had to include her. Come on, she was every teenage trekkie's dream.

So there you have it. The definitive Star Trek XI.

Cricketing Characters #6: Henry Blofeld

My dear old things..

I can't think of many things in life that give me more pleasure than listening to Test Match Special on BBC radio. I happily while away many an hour with it filling the air indoors. I often plan my long runs for when it starts on the radio, so that it can entertain me when I'm plodding the streets. It makes report writing at work slightly more bearable (slightly..). I have even been known to stay on the train for a stop or two longer than necessary to listen to a few more overs.

It's not just the cricket that provides the pleasure for me. It's charm is almost entirely down to the personalities that provide the commentary. The general rambling, tangents and off-topic comments never fail to make me smile, even when the passage of play is slow. It has such a rich history in the UK and for so many fans, cricket and TMS are as intrinsically linked as Wimbledon is with strawberries and cream. I do have access to Sky Sports to be able to watch the action unfold, but I rarely switch it on. Not least because I only subscribe to the mobile version (staring at an ipad all day is not the best viewing experience) but also because I find the coverage dull. It's almost too easy for Sky Sports. Their commentary team is made up almost completely of ex-players, and believe me I'm not against that. Some of them speak very well about the game, but the viewer can see quite clearly what's happening and when it comes to describing the game, less is most definitely more. The nature of radio means the commentators naturally have to work harder to describe what's unfolding on the pitch for the listener. They have to paint pictures with their words, making commentary much more of an art form. TMS is the classical concerto to the Sky Sports pop concert. Each of the TMS commentators and expert summarisers bring their own qualities and unique personalities to the role, but none encapsulate the history, eccentricity and uniqueness of the game quite like Henry "Blowers" Blofeld.

His rich descriptions of passing buses, pigeons and random people in the crowd make the game come to life just as much as HD TV. Coupled with his gloriously plummy voice this provides a very tangible link to an era of cricket that is perhaps long gone.

He was born in Norfolk to landowner parents Tom and Grizel Blofeld. He had a private school education, firstly at Sunningdale, then at Eton. Cricket was part of his life from a young age and it seems it provided solace from his faltering academic career. By his own admission his primary aim in academia was merely to "get by". When at the Lower Sixpenny House his wicket keeping and batting skills soon caught the eye of former Oxford Blue and First Class cricketer Claude Taylor, who was the cricket coach and Latin teacher at the time. He fought off stiff competition at Eton for the wicketkeeper role, and built up a formidable partnership with Edward Lane-Fox, a slow left spinner. The line bowled Lane-Fox, stumped Blofeld appeared regularly in the Eton scorebooks. He made regular appearances for the Eton team, as well as being chosen for the Southern Schools XI. It was for the Southern Schools that he scored his first hundred at Lord's against a Combined Services XI in 1956, a performance that provided one of his proudest moments. It is said that Donald Bradman was in the Committee Room that day and sent up personal congratulations to Henry following his achievement. He made his first appearance for Norfolk not long after this and made an impressive 79 in a match against the Nottinghamshire 2nd XI, another performance suggesting that Henry was perhaps destined for greater things.



On the 7th June 1957 however, Henry's love affair with passing buses got off to a rather inauspicious start. Whilst travelling to an Eton net session at Agar's Plough he cycled into the side of one with considerable force. This lead to a serious skull fracture and facial fractures, the effects of which he still feels today as he reportedly has very little feeling on the left side of his face.

Following his long recovery from the accident he continued to play for Norfolk and after entering Cambridge University the following year, made his First Class debut in 1958 for Cambridge University against Kent. Henry was mostly kept out of the team however by regular first choice Keeper Chris Howland. He has been quoted as saying that his reactions were never quite as sharp following his accident, which he felt affected his keeping more than his batting. He played on for 2 seasons as Cambridge's opening batsman, describing himself as the worst opening batsman to play for either Cambridge or Oxford since the Boer War. After faltering in his third year exams he made the decision to leave Cambridge and pursue the next stage of his life.

The next stage of his life, initially at least was in the City, a career that never brought him joy. His way into to journalism came via the cricket correspondent for The Times Johnny Woodcock who Henry met at a cocktail party for the cricket club he played for casually called The Arabs. Johnny Woodcock managed to pull some strings and found Henry a match to report on for The Times. He gradually left his City job behind as he continued to pick up freelance journalism jobs for various papers reporting on various sports.

In June 1968, Henry wrote to the BBC Head of Outside Broadcasting on the advice of a John Thicknesse, a colleague at the Evening Standard. He had a positive response and was given an opportunity to commentate on a 10 minute section of a county match for old Home Service. The BBC were impressed and Henry was retained on a list of cricket commentators for the next few years. Bizarrely though the first Test match he commentated on wasn't for TMS and wasn't on an England Test series. Whilst writing about the 1971 Test series between West Indies and New Zealand, an opportunity arose for him to commentate on the series for RJR, Radio Jamaica. He called all three tests and served as his introduction to international cricket commentary.

On his return to the UK, he was introduced to legendary TMS scorer Bill Frindall in the commentary box at Chelmsford whilst covering a game between Essex and Warwickshire for BBC Radio 2, which lead to him being asked to cover the second and third ODI's between England and Australia for TMS at Lord's and Edgbaston. From here he remained a regular and unmistakable fixture in the Test Match Special commentary team to the present day, despite a short lived foray into television commentary in Sky's early days in the early 1990's.

Despite ill health doing it's best to slow Henry down in recent years (multiple hip dislocations and surgeries, as well as a second near death experience following difficult heart bypass surgery in 2001) he continues to fulfil a full commentary schedule, most recently travelling to the UAE to cover England's tour against Pakistan. As well as this, in recent years he has seen his commitments to the stage grow, completing multiple tours of his one-man show, including tours at the Edinburgh Festival. He received an MBE for services to broadcasting in 2008.

Henry has been a collector of PG Wodehouse First Editions, as well as vintage cartoons by former Australia cricketer Arthur Mailey. In 1977 he travelled from London to Bombay in a maroon-coloured 1921 Rolls Royce Silver Ghost with former mentor Johnny Woodcock, and friends Judy Casey and Michael Bennett in time for England's tour to India to start. Considering the trip took in the sights of, among other places, Tehran, Kabul and most of Pakistan, it is doubtful a similar journey could be achieved nowadays.

Perhaps one of the most intriguing stories about Henry is his link to Ian Fleming and the imfamous Bond villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld. I have vaguely heard over the years of possible links but it was not until I read Henry's autobiography when I finally found the truth. The creator of James Bond, Ian Fleming was friends with Henry Father Tom, having gone to school together and both being members of the Boodle's club in London. Whilst writing Thunderball Fleming wanted an evil sounding name. Having struggled over a suitably sinister name for his villain for a few days, he took a cab to Boodles and presided over the members list in search for a winner. Having reached the both Tom and Henry Blofeld, it is written that he said: "I slammed the book shut, gave a yelp of delight, ordered a pint of champagne and never looked back". So there you have it!

Blowers is as big a part of TMS as anyone else in it's history, and I can't think of many who bring a game of cricket to life quite as well as him. We'll never know where his playing career would've led him had it not been for that unfortunate encounter with the bus in 1957, but I think it can be argued that his broadcasting career will bring him a far greater legacy in the game even if he had captained England. He's 77 years old now and despite the fact he's still very much going strong in the TMS commentary box at the moment, I know he won't go on for ever. But I'm just going to enjoy that voice and the visions of the pigeons and the buses for as long as possible.